The Importance of Living, by Lin Yutang

"This is a personal testimony, a testimony of my own experiences of thought and
life" - Lin Yutang's opening lines in the preface to "The Importance of Living"

Another of piece of classic writing by the famous Chinese writer, touching on, well, the Importance of Living. Lin from the time-tested wisdom of classical Chinese thinkers, including well-known philosophers and obscure poets, to challenge the wisdom of the modern age based on the pursuit of success and achievements. Discussing a range of aspects involved in the art of living, such as The Cult of The Idle Life, On Tea and Friendship, and The Return to Common Sense, Lin redirects a return to simplicity and contentment.

Using clever wit and style, he offers a serious challenge to many unquestioned assumptions of our prefence for the modern "civilised" lifestyle.

"The difference between trees and houses is that houses are built but trees
grow, and anything which grows is always more beautiful to look at than anything
which is built."

Nuggets of golden truth like the quote above paints a romantic picture of life lived with an eye for healthy enjoyment by the ancient Chinese, long before the logic and rational thinking of the Western world corrupted it.

A must-read for people who wish to learn to live and love life, without wasteful consumption or consumerism.

Marley & Me - By John Grogan

Synopsis from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marley_and_me:

Marley & Me is a The New York Times best seller autobiographical book by the journalist John Grogan. It portrays his and his family's life during the thirteen years that they lived with their Labrador Retriever, Marley, and the relationships and lessons from this period.

Marley himself is portrayed, in line with his American Labrador lineage, as a highly strung, boisterous, and somewhat uncontrolled dog. He is strong, powerful, endlessly hungry and eager to be active, often destructive of their property (completely without malice) or otherwise embarrasses them, and routinely fails to "get the idea" of what humans expect of him. At one point the comment is made, perhaps partly in jest, that mental illness might be a plausible explanation for his behavior. However his acts and behaviors are forgiven since it is clear that he has a heart of gold and is merely living within his nature.

The strong contrast between the problems and tensions caused by his neuroses and behavior, and the undying devotion, love and trust shown towards the human family as they themselves have children and grow up to accept him for what he is, and their grief when he finally dies in old age, form the backdrop for the biographical material of the story.

Excerpt:

In the days immediately after we buried Marley, the whole family went silent. The animal that was the amusing target of so many hours of conversation and stories over the years had become a taboo topic. We were trying to return our lives to normal, and speaking t of him only made it harder. Collen in particular could not bear to hear his name or see his photos. Tears would well in her eyes and she would clench her fists and say angrily, "I don't want to talk about him!"...

It was an amazing concept that I was only now, in the wake of his death, fully absorbing: Marley as mentor. As teacher and role model . Was it possible for a dog- any dog, but especially a nutty, wildly uncontrollable one like ours - to point humans to the things that really mattered in life? I believed it was. Loyalty. Courage. Devotion. Simplicity. Joy. And the things that did not matter, too. A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbol mean nothing to him. A water logged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their colour or creed or class but by who they are inside., A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not. As I wrote that farewell column to Marley, I realized it was all right there in front of us., if only we opened our eyes, Sometimes,m it took a dog with bad breath,m worse manners, and pure intentions to help us see.

Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson, by Mitch Albom

Synopsis from http://www.iblist.com/:
Most of us, at some point in our schooling, have had a teacher who had a major impact on our thinking and the way we've lived our lives. What a treat would it be now, all these years later, to reacquaint ourselves with that treasure advisor, to learn again those lessons he or she shared when we were young. Mitch Albom was given that opportunity. He spent several months regularly visiting his college professor, Morrie Schwartz, during the elder man's final year of life. Tuesdays with Morrie is Albom's best-selling tribute to the man who gave him so much.

Excerpt:
When Morrie was with you, he was rweally wqith you. He looked you straight in the eye, and he listened as if you were the only person in the world. How much better would pepole get along if thweir first encounter each day were like this - instead of a grumble from a waitress or a bus driver or a boss?

"I believe in being fully present, " Morrie said. "That means you should be with the person you're with. When I'm talking to you now, Mitch, I try to keep focused only on what is going on between us. I am not thinking about something we said last week. I am not thinking of what's coming up this FridayI am not thinking about doing anotther Koppel show, or about what medications I'm taking.

"I am talking to you. I am thinking about you."

I remeber how he used to teach this idea in the Group Process class back iat Brandeis. I had scoffed back then, thinking this was hardly a lesson plan for a university course. Learning to pay attention?> How important could that be? I now know it is more important than almost everything they taught us in college.

Morrie motioned for my hand, and as I gave it to him, I felt a surge of guilt. Here was a man who, if he wanted, could spend every waking moment in self-;pity, feeling his body for decay, counting his breaths. So many people with far smaller problems are so self-absorbed, their eyes glaze over if you speak for more than thirty seconds. They already have something else in mind - a friend to call, a fax to send, a lover they're daydreaming about. They only snap back to full attention when you finish talking, at which point they say "Uh-huh" or "Yeah, really" and fake their way back to the moment.

"Part of the problem, Mitch, is that everyone is in such a hurry,"Morrie said. "People haven't found meaning in their lives, so they're running all the time looking for it. They think the next car, the next house, the next job. Then they find those things are empty, too, and they keep running."

Once you start running, I said, it's hard to slow yourself down.

"Not so hard," he said, shaking his head. "Do you know what I do? When someone wants to get ahead of me in traffic - when I used to be able to drive - I would raise my hand..."

He tried to do this now, but the hand lifted weakly, only six inches.

"... I would raise my hand, as if I was going to make a negative gesture, and then I would wave and smile. Instead of giving them the finger, you let them go, and you smile.

"You know what? A lot of times they smiled back.

"The truth is, I don't have to be in that much of a hurry with my car. I would rather put my energies into people."

He did this better than anyone I'd ever known. Those who sat with him saw his eyes go moist when they spoke about something horrible, or crinkle in delight when he told him a really bad joke. He was always ready to openly display the emotion so often missing from my baby boomer generation. We are great at small talk:"What do you do?" "Where do you live?" But really listening to someone - without trying to sell them something, pick them up, recruit them, or get some kind of status in return - how often do we get this anymore? I believe m,any visitors in the last few months of Morrie's life were drawn not because of the attention they wanted to pay to him but because of the attention he paid to them. Despite his personal pain an d decay, this little old man listened the way they always wanted someone to listen.

I told him he was the father everyone wishes they had.

"Well," he said, closing his eyes, "I have some experience in that area..."

The Return of the Prodigal Son - Retold

An excellent short book by Henri Nouwen, based on his chance encounter with a reproduction of Rembrandt's painiting The Return of the Prodigal Son. Nouwen re-examines his own spiritual journey by re-telling Jesus' famous parable (Luke 15:11-32, Nouwen terms it "The Story of Two Sons and Their Father") by focusing not just on the wayward son, but also by looking deeply at the role and heart of the father, and the elder son.

The wikipedia entry(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henri_Nouwen) sums up below the former Dutch priest's novel approach towards the story:

In Return of the Prodigal Son, for example, Nouwen describes love and forgiveness as unconditional. Though this is not a novel idea, Nouwen's approach is arguably unique as we approached this theme from the angles of the younger son, the elder son, and the father.

Each captures the unconditional quality of love and forgiveness in their own way. The younger son's life shows how the beloved lives a life of misery by thinking he can be loved only by meeting certain qualifications of the lover (which he fails to meet). The elder son's actions shows how the beloved can be depressed because he thinks he should receive greater love because he has done all the right things (i.e., that he has met these qualifications). The father alone understands how to love and forgive and is able to do so and be happy.

Nouwen explains that we are the younger son at times (when we think we don't deserve the love or the forgiveness) and the elder son at times (when we think we deserve love or that another doesn't deserve it more than us), but that we are all called to be like the father (and that only by being like the father can we come closer to being loved as we should be loved).

This book intimately relates each of us to our own relationships with God, our parents, our siblings, and ourselves and provokes many a meaningful reflection. A must read.

WHERE MISERY & MERCY MEET

Having seen some of the poverty of Paris and having heard Jean (Vanier) say last Sunday that we are called not just to serve the poor but to be poor, I was struck forcefully by his words. To choose the little people. the little joys, the little sorrows, and to trust that it is there that God will come close - that is the hard way of Jesus. Again I felt a deep resistance toward choosing that way.

I am quite willing to work for and even with little people, but I want it to be a great event! Something in me always wants to turn the way of Jesus into a way that is honorable in the eyes of the world. I always want the little way to become the big way. But Jesus' movement towards the places the world wants to move away from cannot be made into a success story.

Every time we think we have touched a place of poverty, we will discover greater poverty beyond that place. There is really no way back to riches, wealth, success, acclaim, and prizes. Beyond physical poverty there is mental poverty, beyond mental poverty there is spiritual poverty, and beyond that there is nothing, nothing but the naked truth that God is mercy.

It is not a way we can walk alone. Only with Jesus can we go to the place where there is nothing but mercy. It is the place from which Jesus cried, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" It is also the place from which Jesus was raised up to new life.

The way of Jesus can be walked only with Jesus. If I want to do it alone, it becomes a form of inverse heroism as fickle as heroism itself. Only Jesus, the Son of God, can walk to that place of total surrender and mercy. He warns us about striking off on our own: "cut off from me, you can do nothing." But he also promises. "Whoever remains in me, with me in him, bears fruit in plenty" (John 15:5)

I can see clearly why action without prayer is so fruitless. It is only in and through prayer that we can become intimately connected with Jesus and find strength to join him on his way.

- Excerpt from "The Road to Daybreak - A Spiritual Journey", by Henri J.M. Nouwen

Welcoming The Child

"Anyone who welcomes a little child such as this in my name, welcomes me; and anyone who welcomes me, welcomes not me but the one who sent me" (Mark 9:37)

What does welcoming a little child mean? It means giving loving attention to those who are often overlooked...

Yesterday I was stopped on the street by a beggar. He asked me for some change to buy a bite to eat. He didn't expect any response, but when I gave him ten dollars he jumped up and said, "Thank you, thanks you very, very much." He was extremely surprised by this large gift, but I suddenly felt a deep sadness. I was on my way yo a meeting I did not want to muss, My gift was an excuse for walking on. I had not welcomed the beggar - I had just tried to feel generous. My "generosity" had revealed my deep resistance toward welcoming the "little child"..

To welcome the "little child" I have to become little myself. But I continue to wonder how great I am. Even my generosity can help me to feel great. But Jesus said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must make himself last of all and servant of all.." (Mark 9:35). Am I willing to become the servant of this beggar? By giving him ten dollars I became his master, who could make him say, "Thank you, thanks you very, very much."

It is becoming clear to me that I still have not understood that Jesus revealed his love to us by becoming our servant, and calls us to follow him in this way.

- Excerpt from "The Road to Daybreak - A Spiritual Journey" by Henri J.M. Nouwen

Slow Together Is Better Than Fast Alone!

During the meeting of the long-term assistants, Nick, who works with four handicapped men in the wood shop, spoke about his joys and frustrations. He explained how hard it is to do a job well and at the same time keep the needs of the handicapped men uppermost in mind. He wants to become a skillful and efficient carpenter, but realises that the product of his work are less important than the growing self-esteem of the men he works with. This requires a lot of patience and a willingness to let others do slowly what you yourself can do rapidly. It means always choosing work in which people much less capable than yourself can participate. It asks for a deep inner conviction that a slow job done together is better than a fast job done alone.

Nick told is how long it had taken him to come to this insight. At first he had been primarily concerned about learning the skills of carpentry from Joe, the director of the wood shop. He was very excited about learning a new trade. But then he came to see that his skillls were meant not just to make blackboards, play blocks, and coat hangers for kindergartens, but also and above all, to help four handicapped people grow in human dignity and self-reliance.

I found this out myself this afternoon when I went apple picking with Janice, Carol, Adam, Rose and their assistants. My attitude was to get the apples picked, put them in bags, and go home. But I soon learned that all of that was much less important than to help Rose pick one or two apples, to walk with Janice looking for apples that hang low enough so that she herself van reach them, to compliment Carol on her ability to find good apples, and just to sit beside Adam in his wheelchair under an apple tree and give him a sense of belonging to the group.

We finally collected four bags of apples, but eight people took more than an hour to do it. I could have done the work in half an hour. But efficiency is not L'Arche's (a community for handicapped people in France) most important word. Care is.

- Excerpt from "The Road to Daybreak - A Spiritual Journey", by Henri J.M. Nouwen